Keep an eye on your cows and watch the skies for black helicopters, because clearly the Common Core is a nefarious government conspiracy hatched deep in the bowels of Area 51.

In Missouri, a legislator has called out Common Core opponents for being too “X-Files.”

Missouri State Rep. Mike Lair, a former teacher and chairman of his state’s legislative education committee, has asked for $8 to be appropriated for Missouri’s Common Core opponents, to fund “two rolls of high density aluminum to create headgear designed to deflect drone and/or black helicopter mind reading and control technology.”[Kansas City Star, 2/19/2014]

Connecticut, as we know, also has more than its fair share of Common Core conspiracy theorists. The truth is out there, all right, Jon Pelto.

Lair is being a bit silly, but he’s doing something brave, too. He’s calling out his own state’s versions of Jon Pelto, Wendy Lecker and the like for being completely unrealistic about the basis for and prospects of the Common Core State Standards.

The mystery is how ostensibly intelligent and educated individuals like Fox Mulder — sorry, I mean Jon Pelto — could have a problem with standards designed to impart analytical and problem-solving skills.

It must be a conspiracy! Chemtrails spread Common Core gas! No, wait, Common Core was developed on Plum Island and is spread through insect bites.

You laugh, but the rhetoric spread by Common Core opponents in Connecticut is not too far off. They seem to think a system designed by a huge consortium of politicians and educators and supported by the vast majority of teachers is an “experiment.”

Well, perhaps Jon Pelto and his ilk should buy their own tin foil hats and go hide in a bunker somewhere. We’d all be better off.

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