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A Job Notice As It Should Be Written

I noticed recently that the Working Families Party is looking for some new blood in the form of a statewide political director (the last one must have not made it back to the coffin by daybreak). Just for fun, I have rewritten the job advertisement, you know, for honesty.

Wanted: Political Puppeteer

The Working Families Party is a minor Connecticut Party that uses union money to influence elections. For all intents and purposes we act like a Super PAC, raising money for the candidates we like, but we get around that by propping up a few strawmen in local races. That way we can cross-endorse statewide candidates and extend our influence beyond our rightful reach. It’s like “House of Cards,” but for real!

Job Description:

There’s a lot of boring stuff to handle, like organizing work stoppages and developing propaganda materials, but it’s not all dull. Sure, it’s tough to find unthinking drones to repeat your messages ad nauseum, but Taco Tuesdays are a blast! The trick is to make everybody believe that you’re doing it for the good of all mankind, but remember — voters are like unruly children, they need boundaries. If you like to manipulate parent-led, Title I-required organizations to further your own ends, this is the job for you!

Requirements:

You shed your skin as you molt and/or eat your mate after conception. Experience toppling foreign governments helpful but not required. A college degree in communications, political science or phlebotomy is necessary.

 

Please reply to: Working Families Party, Fantasyland, CT.

 

 

 

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